May 28, 2003 - 1:11 AM
OK...so, opening up. Yeah.
How the hell do I just "start opening up"? Do I start by saying I've made alot of mistakes? I'm sure that applies to 99% of the world's population so I don't think that's anything special. My mistakes were bad ones. Some I regret immensely, some I regret only a little and some I don't regret at all. The ones I regret most are the ones that I made that hurt people. I hate knowing that my stupidity caused heartache. Most of the other mistakes I've made...well it doesn't really sound right to call them mistakes...more like "experiments in life". Among these "experiments" are things like drugs, sex and partying. I know that some of the things I did were stupid, alot of them were stupid actually. And they are most definitely things that I don't want my own children to do, but I'm sure every parent says that. Some of my fondest memories involve drugs, sex or partying in one way or another. I made lasting friendhips with a few people that I met simply because the one thing we had in common was whatever drug was being done. Having sex is the reason I have my son. There's no way I could regret that. Partying and being exposed to the things I was exposed to molded me into the person I am. How could I call that a mistake?
I have stories. Many of which I am a bit ashamed to share. MOST of which I would never share with my parents or children. All of which are what makes me who I am.
I am not all "sluttiness, drugs and partying" though. I'm past that now at my ripe old age of 22. I'm happy, I'm somewhat normal, I'm a mommy and a wife. I have things I have always longed for. But every once in awhile...I'm 17 again, and I need to talk about it.
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